She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Randomize