Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
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