Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
