I'm lost and stupid without you.
from now on my penis is your penis
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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