i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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