You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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