Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
