I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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