Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize