Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sorry about my life...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Holy shit dude........stairs
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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