Betty ford says i'm here all night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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