is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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