hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
handjob tips. give me some.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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