how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
