eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
