We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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