i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.