Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.