Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.

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  (918): Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken. http://tfl.nu/pmvb
  Replies (8) Good night (1344) Bad night (544)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

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  (712): Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood. http://tfl.nu/9bbv
  Replies (10) Good night (1525) Bad night (482)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.

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  (+61): yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4c5v
  Replies (27) Good night (731) Bad night (3711)
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  (650): View more from California

  dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning

  (805): View more from California

  1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.

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  (650): dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning (805): 1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992. http://tfl.nu/ljqj
  Replies (31) Good night (4625) Bad night (721)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  what?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  your penis

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  (479): hey, can i borrow that thing you never use? (1-479): what? (479): your penis http://tfl.nu/2nga
  Replies (11) Good night (1444) Bad night (3769)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.

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  (913): some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night. http://tfl.nu/2xhx
  Replies (18) Good night (9519) Bad night (753)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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  (256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade. http://tfl.nu/llb7
  Replies (25) Good night (20520) Bad night (1033)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.

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  (810): woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/ubfv
  Replies (8) Good night (1768) Bad night (2947)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"

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  (570): How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks" http://tfl.nu/r0yt
  Replies (26) Good night (6390) Bad night (884)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"

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  (503): He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy" http://tfl.nu/s0u1
  Replies (14) Good night (4071) Bad night (973)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet

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  (507): Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet http://tfl.nu/981y
  Replies (7) Good night (1125) Bad night (1216)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...

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  (313): You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing... http://tfl.nu/xgjw
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (929)
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  (+33): View more from France

  And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".

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  (+33): And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?". http://tfl.nu/no4p
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (326)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!

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  (618): When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK" (1-618): As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever! http://tfl.nu/gtn1
  Replies (4) Good night (1046) Bad night (195)
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  (415): View more from California

  My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.

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  (415): My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years. http://tfl.nu/u3yw
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (235)

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