Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants