Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded

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(586): Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded http://tfl.nu/ytab

Replies (8) Good night (755) Bad night (982)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...

(404): View more from Georgia

In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)

(678): View more from Georgia

cunt.

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(678): So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile... (404): In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;) (678): cunt. http://tfl.nu/sbha

Replies (58) Good night (3071) Bad night (1089)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.

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(843): I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina. http://tfl.nu/l94r

Replies (15) Good night (952) Bad night (3447)
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(512): View more from Texas

we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text

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(512): we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text http://tfl.nu/5zju

Replies (7) Good night (3582) Bad night (717)
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(518): View more from New York

I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

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(518): I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes http://tfl.nu/yql0

Replies (18) Good night (3137) Bad night (893)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?

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(765): Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis? http://tfl.nu/def9

Replies (21) Good night (1226) Bad night (3166)
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(925): View more from California

I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker

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(925): I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker http://tfl.nu/8x3j

Replies (24) Good night (6318) Bad night (1045)
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(480): View more from Arizona

He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.

(602): View more from Arizona

Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?

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(480): He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere. (602): Why would he say turtle mid-fuck? http://tfl.nu/okxi

Replies (17) Good night (5890) Bad night (1419)
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(316): View more from Kansas

If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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(316): If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already. http://tfl.nu/vt4q

Replies (13) Good night (2947) Bad night (1098)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car

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(412): At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car http://tfl.nu/wr7k

Replies (9) Good night (1994) Bad night (1190)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is

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(804): Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is http://tfl.nu/zc14

Replies (2) Good night (1358) Bad night (636)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.

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(403): I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here. http://tfl.nu/2ffm

Replies (4) Good night (1263) Bad night (576)
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(260): View more from Indiana

And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina

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(260): And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina http://tfl.nu/ymsd

Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (1036)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

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(414): Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/lx27

Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (451)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night

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(678): Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night http://tfl.nu/l7hl

Replies (3) Good night (522) Bad night (317)

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