It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.