i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
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i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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