Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit