her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
