Those balls look pretty dangerous.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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