Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  But what if he licks everyones ass?

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  (202): So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking... (203): Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings (202): But what if he licks everyones ass? http://tfl.nu/5mfw
  Replies (11) Good night (957) Bad night (1516)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.

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  (757): Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed. http://tfl.nu/t0jo
  Replies (13) Good night (3761) Bad night (744)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wrong number and your a loser

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  (215): It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular (610): Wrong number and your a loser http://tfl.nu/k831
  Replies (32) Good night (1452) Bad night (8686)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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  (704): so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie... http://tfl.nu/pw66
  Replies (40) Good night (1399) Bad night (6124)
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  (760): View more from California

  Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...

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  (760): Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom... http://tfl.nu/f7p5
  Replies (18) Good night (1563) Bad night (6437)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

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  (774): there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours? http://tfl.nu/8xmr
  Replies (7) Good night (4085) Bad night (892)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs

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  (815): I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs http://tfl.nu/01af
  Replies (6) Good night (1822) Bad night (945)
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  (805): View more from California

  The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.

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  (805): The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out. http://tfl.nu/nl9o
  Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (953)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle

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  (226): The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle http://tfl.nu/jqp1
  Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (984)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."

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  (773): I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye." http://tfl.nu/jcze
  Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (676)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year

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  (732): found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year http://tfl.nu/ld4v
  Replies (2) Good night (926) Bad night (731)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.

  (585): View more from New York

  If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.

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  (716): Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way. (585): If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this. http://tfl.nu/htqs
  Replies (0) Good night (649) Bad night (295)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now

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  (785): The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now http://tfl.nu/v0ez
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (255)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die

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  (804): if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die http://tfl.nu/oqzi
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (295)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong

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  (319): the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong http://tfl.nu/dbma
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (242)

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