remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.