it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.