Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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