Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Not half as good looking as paul

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge

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  (248): That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul (313): Not half as good looking as paul (248): I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge http://tfl.nu/0tcw
  Replies (5) Good night (1109) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc

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  (630): Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc http://tfl.nu/6dlb
  Replies (50) Good night (626) Bad night (2948)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.

  (845): View more from New York

  She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?

  (914): View more from New York

  well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey

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  (914): My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener. (845): She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn? (914): well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey http://tfl.nu/elol
  Replies (49) Good night (6126) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3481) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.

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  (847): This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword. http://tfl.nu/au8n
  Replies (12) Good night (4117) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers

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  (716): I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers http://tfl.nu/1krf
  Replies (12) Good night (3966) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  She still started it.

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  (651): No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister. (1-651): She still started it. http://tfl.nu/h5sx
  Replies (7) Good night (2874) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back

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  (909): No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back http://tfl.nu/jzby
  Replies (2) Good night (1403) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.

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  (914): I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me. http://tfl.nu/fqr3
  Replies (6) Good night (470) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  ... I threw up in the shower this morning

  (406): View more from Montana

  You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.

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  (307): ... I threw up in the shower this morning (406): You were "I'm not drunk" drunk. (307): I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time. http://tfl.nu/80b5
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  It's like earning obesity badges

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  (303): I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle (1-303): It's like earning obesity badges http://tfl.nu/mpfd
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...

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  (916): Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics... http://tfl.nu/bmtp
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer

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  (770): but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer http://tfl.nu/kkfh
  Replies (4) Good night (660) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  He meets the coolest people when he's drunk

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  (316): Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget (1-316): He meets the coolest people when he's drunk http://tfl.nu/0j8z
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh

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  (773): Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night (773): Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh http://tfl.nu/i0ie
  Replies (2) Good night (296) Bad night (465)

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