dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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