I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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