i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
