i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize