I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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