i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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