So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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