We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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