U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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