Where are you?
In a non slutty way
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
