so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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