I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
