what day is it and did you see me today?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
