guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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