Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
