bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
