How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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