if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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