just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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