my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
