so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
