I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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