Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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