You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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