Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
