One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
