just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize