I'm jealous of your bromance
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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