Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
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