We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize