In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
