Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My hand turned me down
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
